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Saturday, January 8, 2011

Jimmy don't fly (On the Edge of the World)

What would you do when you lost everything? What will you do when you lost your hopes and dreams and even your pride? I lost everything when I lost Jenny. Jenny was everything to me, and now I have lost her. She died in a car accident about 6 month ago. In about that time I have lost my job and even my apartment. I cant seem to concentrate in anything anymore. All I ever think was only Jenny. Even the picture I took have lost it touch. It is never bright or happy as it did before. The picture of the sky I used to loved to take had become so gloomy all of the sudden. I lost my job about 4 month ago and lost my apartment 2 days ago. I wander aimlessly this past two days...and here I am now on the roof of a fifteen floors building....looking up at the sky.

We use to looked up at the sky, the three of us. Jenny, John and me. We are the closest friends there was. The three of us was always together. Dreaming about the sky. Someone told us "that the sky's is full of dreams, but we don't know how to fly". We always wanted to fly higher. John as a great architect, me a well known photographer and Jenny a top model. She was suppose to model for me...but she never did and never will.

Oh John, I didn't notice you there. What are you doing on the roof of this fifteen floors building? Did you came to see the sky as well? John is saying something to me...but his words doesn't come to my ears. I guess the wind may have taken the sound elsewhere. Its pretty windy up here. All I can see is John lips moving without any words coming out of it. I cant seem to hear him or the world anymore.

John looked old and pale. I guess the accident really affect him as well. After all...you killed her John. She was with you when the accident happened. You drove so fast there wasn't anytime to break. You hit a car and now she is dead. But John wasn't to blame. The night the accident happened Jenny and I had an argument. And who she seek for comfort. You John...you.

I guess there's nothing left for me anymore. With a single step, I will fly to the sky. To the dreams we once had. And with that single step, I fall from the roof of the fifteen floors building. I can see John screaming but I cant hear it. His face grow ever smaller. It took about 95 second before I hit the ground. But it felt like an eternity. If I had see it earlier, if I had noticed how she felt about him. This wouldn't never had happen to us. If I took less picture of the sky and more picture of her, I should have saw it. I'm a photographer but my eyes were blind as a bat.

 CRASH!

Jimmy lay motionless on the ground. People started gathering around him. I couldn't bare to see him anymore. There something I wanted to to tell him. But no matter how hard I try, he cant seem to hear me anymore. There's something he didn't know about the night of the accident. Something I kept secret from him. I was wrong to take her from you. I was wrong to push her into loving me. That night after you had the fight with her, she came to settle things with me. I beg and plead for her to leave you. But she didn't. She loved you and you alone. I drove fast out of anger and that car came out of nowhere. She died and I lived. I wish I was the one who died that night.

You shouldn't have done this. You shouldn't have destroy everything you dream about. If you have taken less pictures of the sky and more pictures of her, you should have noticed. That she loved you so much and wanted you to lived. 
The end

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